Ego and the Speech Critic

Ralph Smedley wrote that becoming a good speech critic takes as much skill as becoming an art or literary critic. At Toastmasters International meetings we become speech critics each time we stand up to give an evaluation.

The only reason we don't call our words criticisms is because the word has a negative connotations. People we accuse of criticising are people who are blaming, negative and fault finding.

Have you seen the food critic in the animated film Ratatouille? He's called Anton Ego. People step back in fear when he walks by and a bad review from him can be the end of your career and with it your life!

Why is he called Ego? Because only his opinion matters, he doesn't care about the consequences for those he reviews.

Here are a few quotes from Anton Ego:

In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgement.

No-one should be given such power with no come back. Here are a few ways that the Toastmasters International meeting structure prevents this:

1. There is a General Evaluator who evaluates the evaluators. But who evaluates the General Evaluator you ask? Well thanks to the new Competent Leader manual there will be someone in the audience evaluating them!

2. There is also the audience vote for the best evaluator.

We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read.

Yes it really is. But would I want to be at the receiving end? Not for anything in the world! Its like getting hurt, its only funny when happens to other people...

You’ve been playing without an opponent, which is, as you may have guessed, against the rules.

A true critique should be a way for everyone to improve. A true evaluator is your comrade in arms not your opponent. We look to them for help encouragement and advice not to put obstacles in the way of our success.

But the bitter truth we critics must face, is that in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is more meaningful than our criticism designating it so.

It is worthwhile keeping a sense of perspective. Those people you evaluate today will be making speeches in the future long after your words are forgotten. If you have done your job well then people will be eager for your advice and will improve as a result of receiving it, if you haven't then they will step away in fear and may become even more afraid to speak. The end result is up to you, which type of critic would you like to be?

Ah, that Old Black Magic.

After decades of searching through the forbidden sections of all the libraries listed in the yellow pages you have eventually got your hands on a tattered copy of the ravings of the Mad Arab Abdul Alhazred. Finally you can do what you have always dreamt of...to fill the world with darkness and unsavoury tentacled creatures with a penchant for chanting.

When the night comes you stand up, compose yourself, breeeeathe, and open the book. Your crazed followers have now whipped themselves up into a frenzy. As the carefully pronounced words spill from your mouth the flames leap up, a gust of wind smashes open all the windows, the earth shakes and then the inevitable happens: what you intended to say was "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!", but what you actually said was "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh, erm, wgah'nagl fhtagn?"

Oh dear. You see in situations like this the correct order of words, pronunciation and intonation are everything and I do mean everything.

You should have predicted this blunder. Remember the last time you were at a Toastmasters International club meeting? The Ah Counter pointed out that you used five pause fillers and you were only reading out the club's mission statement! And it really does matter doesn't it? I will be kind and say that maybe it was the pressure that got to you, after all standing up in front of a room of crazed followers in the buff with you doodah on show isn't the same as reading the passage out loud in your head the night before in bed.

Whatever the reason it's too late to do anything about it now. And yes, you should have spent less time with your crazed followers and more down at your local Toastmasters International club practicing or maybe even combined the two (Crazed Toastmasters of Chtulhu would have made an interesting club name). You won't have long to dwell on this though as Yog-Sothoth is coming to collect your internal organs for your unwarranted use of that pause filler (maybe I will make him Ah Counter at my next meeting).

I confess my envy.

Have you ever felt envy? I don't mean that moment when you are walking down the street and see someone eating an ice-cream and think "I wish I had one of those", but full-on 7 deadly sins envy? No? Then you have never tried to charter a Toastmasters International club.

Being part of an unchartered club has its downside. You can probably think of quite a few reasons why. The pressure to charter, the fear of looking foolish if you don't. Wondering if your PR efforts since the last meeting have made any difference, wondering how many favours you are going to end up owing people by the time you do make it.

All of these pale into insignificance when you go to speech contest or officer training and see all the other clubs' banners hanging on the wall. Imagine them, all lined up, their lustrous gold fabric shimmering, the bold TI logo proudly looking down onto the club name. And the ribbons...red, blue, green, purple with the club's biggest accomplishments spelt out in gold letters. And you wonder..."should I get an old pillowcase and a glitter pen and try to mock one up?"

Rules are rules; no charter, no banner. The only thing you can do is to try and find ways of coping. I do wonder how people have done it, what has got them through those terrible bannerless times? Counselling? Therapy? Medication? Physical restraints? All of the above? I suppose I will soon find out for myself.

A word of advice...don't leave yours unattended!

I want Bruce Forsyth as Toastmaster of the Evening!

Why, when there are so many experienced Toastmasters out there, do I want to roster Bruce Forsyth as Toastmaster of the Evening when, as far as I am aware, he has never been to a Toastmasters International meeting in his life?

It is because I have seen him be TOE (on TV not at a club) and already know he would be perfect. Have you seen Stricly Come Dancing on BBC1 (in the US there is a similar show called Dancing with the Stars)? From a structural point of view Strictly Come Dancing is just like a Toastmasters meeting and the presenter's role is identical to the TOE role.

Think about it. Each Saturday evening Bruce gives the audience a big warm welcome, he explains what is going to happen during the show (this is invaluable to people seeing the show for the first time and a useful reminder to those that have) and tells them how they can vote for their favourite dancers.

 He gives each dancing couple an enthusiastic introduction. Have you seen how he treats the couples that get a blasting from the judges? If a speaker or evaluator crashed and burned at a Toastmasters meeting what would he do? He would shake their hand warmly, tell them that they are his favourites and make sure they got a hearty round of applause. Perfect!

He keeps the proceedings positive and on track, smoothing over any blunders that happen along the way. This is why I want to roster him as my next Toastmaster of the Evening. Though now it occurs to me that I have got this the wrong way round. Surely what I mean to say is that decent TOEs would make fantastic TV show hosts which is what Toastmasters International is all about; giving people skills they need to shine.

No, not that kind of Toastmaster!

Lets get this clear from the start. I am a member of Toastmasters International not any other Toastmastering organization. I am not being picky or pedantic, the difference really is important. Let me explain.

In the UK there are a number of groups using the term "Toastmaster". Most of them are listed at the Toastmaster's General Council. These elegantly dressed men and women are experts in etiquette and will make your wedding, banquet, masonic festival or whatever function you are planning run perfectly. They are obsessively passionate about providing the best service they possibly can. They are, however, nothing to do with Toastmasters International.

Toastmasters International was founded in 1924 by Ralph C. Smedley in Santa Ana California and soon spread worldwide. It is a public speaking club, actually more than that because those that fully follow its program don't just become better speakers they also gain invaluable leadership skills as well.  It was registered as not-for-profit (you can do that in the US) and exists purely to improve people's lives. It's members don't wear red coats or any kind of costume. They come from all walks of life but they do have one thing in common; they want to be able to stand up in front of any group of people and inspire, persuade or amuse them effortlessly.

So you see, they are very different and confusion abounds. I dream of a day when people on hearing the word "Toastmaster" ask "Are you talking about the public speakers or the event organizers?". Lets see what happens.