Ah, that Old Black Magic.

After decades of searching through the forbidden sections of all the libraries listed in the yellow pages you have eventually got your hands on a tattered copy of the ravings of the Mad Arab Abdul Alhazred. Finally you can do what you have always dreamt of...to fill the world with darkness and unsavoury tentacled creatures with a penchant for chanting.

When the night comes you stand up, compose yourself, breeeeathe, and open the book. Your crazed followers have now whipped themselves up into a frenzy. As the carefully pronounced words spill from your mouth the flames leap up, a gust of wind smashes open all the windows, the earth shakes and then the inevitable happens: what you intended to say was "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!", but what you actually said was "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh, erm, wgah'nagl fhtagn?"

Oh dear. You see in situations like this the correct order of words, pronunciation and intonation are everything and I do mean everything.

You should have predicted this blunder. Remember the last time you were at a Toastmasters International club meeting? The Ah Counter pointed out that you used five pause fillers and you were only reading out the club's mission statement! And it really does matter doesn't it? I will be kind and say that maybe it was the pressure that got to you, after all standing up in front of a room of crazed followers in the buff with you doodah on show isn't the same as reading the passage out loud in your head the night before in bed.

Whatever the reason it's too late to do anything about it now. And yes, you should have spent less time with your crazed followers and more down at your local Toastmasters International club practicing or maybe even combined the two (Crazed Toastmasters of Chtulhu would have made an interesting club name). You won't have long to dwell on this though as Yog-Sothoth is coming to collect your internal organs for your unwarranted use of that pause filler (maybe I will make him Ah Counter at my next meeting).